I love to talk. It is a great opportunity to learn new things. I love interacting with people. Getting to know people through sharing information about our lives leads to finding common ground which can lead to lasting friendships. However, too much talking can lead to trouble. I was always admonished for talking too much during class. I have gotten into trouble by sharing too much information about myself and sometimes others. Sharing too much about yourself with strangers can lead to being taken advantage of or killing the beginning of a new relationship. Also, sharing information about someone with others can be an even bigger disaster. First off it is gossiping, and hurtful, and you will lose the trust of others. Finally, it can lead to sinning. There are many scriptures regarding talking too much. Let’s delve in to see how Jesus, the Holy Spirit, Solomon, the Apostle James, and the Bible verses about talking too much address this issue.
Jesus and Talking Too Much
Jesus encourages us to love one another. We do not show love when we are talking about someone behind their back. Jesus clearly tells us that we will give account on the day of judgment for every empty word spoken. Therefore, we should be mindful of what we say to someone and about someone. Asking ourselves will the words I share help or hinder the situation. Will it lift or tear down a person’s reputation and credibility?
Trustworthy people do not betray a confidence. They do not take joy in being the first person to share a bit of news to make themselves feel more important or in the know. It is as if your story is a tasty morsel to share and salivate over. If you find yourself overjoyed to be the one to share the news that is not yours to tell, then you are gossiping. It does not matter if this news is good or bad, without the permission of the person it is gossip. Therefore, be careful what you share for the day of judgment people are at hand. The day of judgment is for the righteous and the unrighteous. However, judgment for the righteous does not consist of a second death. For believers, Jesus’s death assures our salvation.
But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. Matthew 12:36 NIV
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret., Proverbs 11:13 NIV
The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts., Proverbs 26:22 NIV
The Holy Spirit and the Tongue
Let’s continue with the Holy Spirit that dwells in Christians that have accepted Christ Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Jesus promised He would send a helper in the form of the Holy Spirit. Besides the gift of eternal life, this final gift was an advocate to help us and be with us forever. To receive this gift all we as sinners had to do was repent and be baptized and then this gift was ours. How cool is this?
However, can the Holy Spirit tame the power of the tongue? The tongue can be used to build up and tear down. It can be used to help someone or hurt someone. It is possible to do both simultaneously in the same sentence. People use backhanded compliments all the time. Once, a woman thought she was complimenting me by telling me I was disgustingly skinny. I was 17 and weight about 90 pounds and very subconscious about my weight. I did not feel this was a compliment at all because it left a lasting impression on me that was quite negative. Unfortunately, many people felt the need to comment on my weight when I was a child. We do not all have control over our metabolism to be the correct weight dictated by society. Words do matter so let’s be careful with our compliments as well.
And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— John 14:16 NIV
Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. Acts 2:38 NIV
The Holy Spirit And Talking Too Much
I digress, the Holy Spirit, the advocate dwells in us to teach us things and to remind us of everything that Jesus said. Therefore, we should be mindful of the things we say. Sometimes we need to allow the Holy Spirit to convince us to not say too much. Hence, we must listen to the Holy Spirit before we begin to share a confidence or a story. Everything we hear and learn is not always information to share with others. It is simply not our story to tell and can lead to gossip. Gossip only stirs up conflict and separates friends and family.
However, there are times when the Holy Spirit will tell us what to say. When I am sharing God’s word with someone the Holy Spirit gives me many scriptures to share. The word of God pours out of me. When I need the right words to encourage someone going through a difficult time, the Holy Spirit will most often give me the words.
Also, be mindful when requesting prayers from someone in need of help. You do not have to share all the details of the situation because you are moving dangerously close to gossiping. Therefore, only share details when you have the consent of the person in need. Remember, everyone does not have to know everything to pray for someone. God is all-knowing, therefore a simple pray for help is sufficient.
But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. John 14:26 NIV
for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.”, Luke 12:12 NIV
A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends., Proverbs 16:28 NIV
Talking Too Much Can Lead to Gossiping
There are times when we want to share our experiences with someone, to confide our troubles. However, be mindful that this is your version of the story. The other person or people involved will have a different take on this. Therefore, be mindful when sharing this information as it can lead to participating in gossiping. There are always three sides to every story, yours, theirs, and the truth. Hence, encourage the person sharing to have an open heart, go no further with this information, and pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit. This soft answer to beloved brothers and sisters can easily help end a quarrel or strife.
Gossiping is one way of keeping the flames of a disagreement going longer than it needs to. It will divide loved ones and can even lead to violence. Bible verses about talking too much tell us that gossip can lead to bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, and slander, along with malice. To get rid of this we must learn to be kind, compassionate, and forgiving. Hence, instead of talking about it with others, pray about it with God.
“ ‘Do not go about spreading slander among your people.,“ ‘Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life. I am the Lord ., Leviticus 19:16 NIV
Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down., Proverbs 26:20 NIV
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Ephesians 4:31 NIV
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 NIV
Solomon and Talking Too Much
Solomon a man of understanding wrote most of Proverbs. He had a lot to say about gossiping and gossipers, but it was mainly about the heart of things. When you gossip your heart is not right. Even if you are spreading good news be mindful that the person may have only meant that good news for you. We must guard our hearts for everything we do flows from them. Be careful of the information you receive because it can change the way you feel about a person and/or situation.
There is a lot of power in our tongue. The Bible says it has the power of life and death. I had the experience of listening to gossip that ended a relationship, it was like the person was dead to me because I no longer wanted to be bothered with them. Therefore, their life ended for me that day. My own heart turned me against another person by a simple word passed along. Hence, the tongue can be stronger than your whole body as it can easily tear down a person without lifting a finger.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it., Proverbs 4:23 NIV
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit., Proverbs 18:21 NIV
Learning To Guard Our Lips
Solomon was a wise person but not a perfect man who learned that we must learn to guard our lips. The door to my lips had to be shut many times. I had to learn that every story was not mine to tell. Hence, reducing the urge to utter a careless word. The fear of the Lord was a major part of this but there are times when talking to a loved one I may let the wrong thing slip from my mouth.
The first thing to do is pray, apologize, and repent. I have little time in my prayer life to keep repenting about the same old sin. Therefore, I avoid people that gossip, mind my own business, and share nothing about other people. God has great things and good works for me to accomplish. I can’t allow myself that evil time that leads me to my wilderness and back on my knees. I want to preserve my life rather than speak rashly all the time.
However, we are all not perfect and sometimes we may unknowingly sin. These Bible verses point to the reasons why we must avoid becoming talkative people. For too much talk can do more harm than good even when we believe that sharing may help a situation. For example, if I share someone’s medical situation hoping it would bring about some clarity. That information can cause a person to lose their job. Besides being the wrong thing to do I have now caused harm.
Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin., Proverbs 13:3 NIV
Set a guard, O Lord , over my mouth;, keep watch over the door of my lips!, Psalm 141:3
Taming the Tongue
Per the apostle James, no human can tame the tongue. The tongue is evil, full of deadly poison. This is true. However, we have an excellent spirit in God that can tame any kind of beast of a tongue. It is for good reason the Holy Spirit was sent to us. It is by the power of the Holy Spirit that we can tame the tongue. With the Holy Spirit, the tongue in our mouths can be made righteous filled with the fruit of wisdom that can overcome any perverse tongue. Wisdom from God can turn our rash words into the gentle tongue of a wise man. For we will need to be more than a good person but a righteous person that allows the good treasure of his heart to shine. Therefore, the tongue of the wise brings the fruit of the spirit, love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness.
but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison., James 3:8 NIV
From the mouth of the righteous comes the fruit of wisdom, but a perverse tongue will be silenced., Proverbs 10:31 NIV
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, Galatians 5:22 NIV
Tree of life
The tree of life in the Proverbs is associated with wisdom and calmness. To tame our tongue, we must seek to be like the tree of life. We must gain wisdom and calmness in our daily lives. Hence, in a world of unrighteousness, we should be reading our Bibles daily for wisdom and adopting a life that avoids conflict. We need to develop forgiveness, compassion, and empathy for all mankind. When all possible avoid a sword thrust to the heart in the form of mean, petty, negative, and spiteful comments. Therefore, we should keep watch over every word uttered while viewing our beloved brethren through the eyes of the Lord. Hence, by showering them with love as God loves us, we can change the course of nature. We can improve lives and relationships.
The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit., Proverbs 15:4 NIV
The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and the one who is wise saves lives., Proverbs 11:30 NIV
Are Too Many Words Sinning?
The Bible tells us that those who use a multitude of words sin. They are reckless with their opinions with no understanding of the damage they inflict on others. The way of the sinner is to provoke others with their words to invite a fight. Sinners use their words to inflict pain, belittle, and vilify others. This is not showing love, compassion, or any of the fruits of the spirit. Therefore, I consider that sin against God. For The Bible tells us that this is not love. God is love. We are called to love God and love our neighbors.
Fools find no pleasure in understanding, but delight in airing their own opinions., Proverbs 18:2 NIV
The lips of fools bring them strife, and their mouths invite a beating., Proverbs 18:6 NIV
“Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”” Matthew 22:37-40 NIV
Recap
Just because you have an opinion about something, or someone does not mean that it is okay to share it especially if it is not positive and designed to lift someone up. Also, if you are in the habit of talking about someone’s personal business then you should consider your motives. What is your heart reflecting? How does share their news helps them or their situation? Are you just talking too much to gain attention, to tear someone down, or to be a troublemaker. Consider the following…
- Too many words can lead to gossiping.
- Learn that harsh and provoking words are deadly poison.
- We must learn to guard our hearts.
- Seek help from the Holy Spirit
- Read your Bible for wisdom.
- Avoid people that may encourage you to gossip.
- Love God and your neighbor
- Seek a quiet life filled with the calm spirit of the Holy Spirit.
- Avoid any overly talkative person who carries unsolicited information about others or their situation.
- Understand the power of our words.
- Spend time in helpful prayer.